In my reading of biographies, autobiographies, and history, I have come across many illustrious figures who were in one way or another orphaned at an early age.  I am not the first to notice this trend and correlation. The clinical psychologist Meg Jay has noted that childhood trauma and exceptional achievement go together. Meg Jay details one classic study of 400 super high achievers, those who had at least two biographies written about them due to their positive contributions. When the researchers examined the lives of these success stories, they found that a remarkable 75 percent of them had faced severe difficulties, such as the loss of a parent, dire poverty, or abuse in childhood.

It has been noted that in several cases, early struggles teach extreme resilience that leads to incredible achievement. Why do harsh beginnings create such exceptional individuals? Orphans or anyone who had a tough childhood put up with serious challenges and problems in their lives. They need to be tough and not deal with people’s crap. If someone with a family hurts their feelings, they can just reach out to their parents and talk about it. What of orphans?

Facing adversity at such a young age makes you very tough when you lose your primary caregiver when you are so young and having to overcome such a hard challenge.  Orphans look for mother and father figures all through their childhood.  As a matter of fact, I have had numerous father and mother figures in the church, school, and later from books in my childhood and teenage years. I tried to emulate the best of their behaviours and pattern my character after such figures. And so do many orphans.

People may not understand the relationship challenges that face orphans on a day to basis. It becomes difficult to be loved by others because orphans subject their souls to self-reliance early on. No one can ever relate to the pain and struggles they face. No one but their fellow orphans. Only another orphan would.

When you are faced with death at such an early age, a veil is lifted up and you feel fragile. You are faced with just sadness and numbness and extortionate pain and sometimes it feels like living hell. It is almost like a leg of a table coming out and so there has to be a kind of readjustment. You have to work on yourself and find a way of making sense of what happened to you and you may end up having a kind of growth mindset. You may end up becoming a fantastic leader. Ironically, you may end up becoming an extremely optimistic person. 1 in 3 American presidents lost a parent in their youth. Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Roosevelt, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama…

Many people who lose parents as children go on to become highly successful. Why? It is post-traumatic growth. There may be things that children and young people take from it, a greater sense of maturity, and a different sense of purpose. There is something about empathy. Somebody who has been through an experience like that may be a better listener, whether that leads to leadership or not. The correlation between a significant early loss, like the death of a parent, and leadership, particularly successful leaders doing great things is probably to do with passion and drive, wanting to make a difference, and somehow, at some level, wanting to make that person proud.

It is worth noting that grief doesn’t really go away. You grow around your grief and create a bigger world so that you’re not suffocated by the grief. Losing a parent can be destabilizing, many children end up in the streets and prison, unemployed, the downside can be simply staggering.

What is the best way to care for orphans? Adopt one. Children’s homes do their work, but the best environment for a child is a familial one. A child yearns to belong in a family not in a children’s home. Families and normal communities should gradually and intentionally replace children’s homes and orphanages. You can read on more about this by going to “I wish someone had taken me in when my mother died” by Stephen and “Charity or commerce? Hidden home truths about orphanages

It is awesome to see and read what people who have lost the most important element of growing and attachment have become. Here is a list of famous orphans. The list has been picked from Wikipedia. You can read the entire “List of orphans and foundlings” in Wikipedia. According to the United Nations, the definition of an orphan is anyone that loses one parent, either through death or abandonment.

Scientists and scholars

Business people

Figures from classical history and religious scripture

Civic and religious leaders

 

For a list of Writers, Musicians and Singers, Artists, Actors, and Entertainers, Athletes head to “List of orphans and foundlings” in Wikipedia.

 

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